Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
