this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
