I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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