Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
