dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
