are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
