And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
