Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
