To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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