K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize