The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
