she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
