woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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