Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
