It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I look better un-naked...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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