i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
