You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
