Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
