I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
