remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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