I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize