There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
