Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
