I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
