If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
