i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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