a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
