the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Crop dusting thru forever 21
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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