i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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