Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
