I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
