Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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