Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
