The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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