Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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