I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize