return my video game
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
