Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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