you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
