Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
