his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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