You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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