I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
4 words: hood of his car
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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