took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
