My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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