What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
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so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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