I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
