Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
3pm strippers are depressing
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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