I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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