all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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