dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
