So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
