oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
