I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
