Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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