just tell him i said nine months
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
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You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
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Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY