They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I look excited, but its just a facade.