My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
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In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..