Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse